I got to wear these shoes last night. We had a nice dinner out with some of P's coworkers & I was so excited to dust these off. Not just because they're Manolos, although that certainly helps, but because of the time they represent. I was a young twenty something who was single & fabulous. (or so I thought) Of course I had NO business buying them. I was working 2 jobs & lived in a studio apt that was around 500 sq ft but Sex & the City was huge and I just had to have a pair of these infamous shoes.I don't know if it was the shoes or just having a reason to get dressed up but my old self found her way out last night. At dinner I felt awake...I felt funny, sexy and classy all at the same time. I felt charming, swanky, pretty & completely at ease. I remember that girl, the one who could work a bar, was confident on a first date, and nailed any job interview. When you're a stay at home mom those "skills" don't exactly do you a lot of good. I make myself choose jeans over sweats (most days) and do try to put on minimal makeup before running errands (some days) but in the end Sam doesn't care if I'm accessorized correctly or can carry a witty conversation. She just wants me to be mommy. To make her smile, fill her belly & change her poop.
Don't get me wrong, I really REALLY love my new life. I've been looking forward to being a mommy since, well, forever. It's just last night I realized I need to get out & say hi to that old girl once in awhile. I liked her. And honestly I forgot about her.
Does anyone else ever feel like you're living with a dual personality? Maybe that's part of being a first time mom, figuring out the new "you" without forgetting the old "you"? Can you be both?
Wow. This is getting really deep for 8am. Sorry 'bout that! (:
Don't get me wrong, I really REALLY love my new life. I've been looking forward to being a mommy since, well, forever. It's just last night I realized I need to get out & say hi to that old girl once in awhile. I liked her. And honestly I forgot about her.
Does anyone else ever feel like you're living with a dual personality? Maybe that's part of being a first time mom, figuring out the new "you" without forgetting the old "you"? Can you be both?
Wow. This is getting really deep for 8am. Sorry 'bout that! (:
I often sit and reflect on what my life was like pre-baby. I feel like all I do now is exactly what you said...make her smile, fill her belly & change her poop. On one hand it makes my day and on the other hand it makes me want to cry because I get no time to be a woman.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you had fun. It is very true. It is hard to find the balance between being a full time mom but also yourself. Its a great life though not always the most exciting.
ReplyDeleteIt is also very healthy that you and P still take time to do "couple" things like dinner out. My hubby and I agree we need to do that but to find the time with a teenager, a 4 yr old and a 10 month old is nearly impossible. Enjoy your time with Samster but always remember Natasha as well. GOOD FOR YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Take time to enjoy yourself!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to say that I have the pleasure of knowing both Natasha's and they are both fabulous. I remember being so jealous when Brooke showed me your outfit that you were going to wear to interview Justin Timberlake. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. My husband and I try to have a date night at least a few times a month. This is when he gets to see me as the girl he married. I love getting dressed up, it just isn't exactly a priority every day when I'm running my four little kids around. I also need some girl nights every once in a while so I can let my inner fashionista/total goofball out. I can be my true self the most when I am out with my sister. How thankful I am for time with my sister!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! We all need that time to get away and be our own person. I am definitely a "dual personality", but I feel a little closer every day to figuring out the new me!
ReplyDeleteLast Saturday, my husband took me out dancing at a club! It has been 5 years since we've danced together. I know... sad, huh? We're in our early 30's, but sometimes (new mom to twins) this girl feels OLDER! Going out, dressing up, and dancing made me feel "new" again. It was fun! Thanks for this post. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the "dual personality."
ReplyDeleteI'm a new mom to an almost 6 month old, and don't remember that girl at all! I get up early and hit the gym, then come home get the baby up, husband up, and those two off to daycare/work, and I go to work. I remember in college I would just be going out to a club at 10pm...i'm fast asleep by then! I'm glad you were able to find that fab girl you once knew! Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you bring this up, I had a conversation the other evening with my mom. So my days usually start at 4 am, routine as usual. Everyday when I take Kristian to daycare and walk back to my care I turn into this completely different person. My boss one day asked me does your husband put up with this everyday?! No, John puts up with me being a wife and a mom not everyone's boss. Once the day ends i feel like a kid all over again, I have adjusted to turning off the BB so I can spend that time with my wonderful family. I see how quickly time is flying by and since I have to work, every moment I get I treasure. It's wonderful to see that your doing great! and Samy is getting so big and SUPER CUTE!
ReplyDeleteWell said! I think most of us have a different girl for each of our roles in life. Wife, Mom, Independent Woman, Daughter, Sister, Friend, etc. Your post reminded me of my buried Single Gal Self -- I'm going to start looking for her!
ReplyDeletegreat shoes! i think moms tend to lose themselves in their children, which isn't a bad thing, but it's good to get away and remember the person you were before kids, and celebrate who we've become, after kids. wow that was deep for 11:00 PM. :D
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